


Say the Words

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Illness, season three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 12:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18965209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: Ed has never had an easy time expressing himself or opening himself up the way that Oswald does. He isn't sure he envies the other man's willingness to be so emotional and exposed.





	Say the Words

‘You don’t know the real me and you never will.’ He thinks to himself and it’s simultaneously a comfort and a burden.

He hides himself, not on purpose mind you. It’s an instinct to hide pieces of himself, sides of himself and his thoughts; he knows from years of experience through trial and error that exposing too much to another person can bring your greatest downfall, even your death. 

Oswald on the other hand hides nothing; he lays everything bare. Especially now as he stands before Ed, the words ‘I love you’ had just spilled out of him like a desperate prayer. His hands are trembling, his eyes are wide and filled with hope, but the tears that fill his eyes expose the overwhelming fear that his confession of love can be rejected. He knows this could go wrong, he knows he could be mocked or left standing here with no response, but still he chooses to expose more of his emotions and his thoughts.

Each second that passes them by ticked away by the clock in the hallway eats away at him, makes his anxiety grow. 

Ed can feel his relief when he places a gentle hand against Oswald’s flushed cheek, he feels the warmth of his skin, the moisture of tears that escaped his eyes, he leans into Ed’s touch and sighs. He hasn’t even spoken the words back, but in some way this counts. This counts as returning the sentiment of love. 

The words of course are there, lodged in his throat as Ed swallows hard trying to force them up, even if he has to whisper them or choke them out, he feels that he should say it back. Not because he must, but because he’s rather sure that he wants to say them. Oswald’s done quite a lot for him in recent months; visiting him daily for two straight months while he’d been in Arkham, bailing him out of Arkham, covering the costs of not only his therapy sessions but his medications as well, and just recently making him his chief of staff. The man even saved his life, gave him a home. He’s the first and only person to just be nice to him.

Yet the words are still lodged in his throat, still refusing to come, Oswald’s eyes are closed and he’s gingerly stroking his fingers against the back of Ed’s hand. He doesn’t realize or want to realize the words; the feeling hasn’t been returned. Ed instead kisses his forehead; his lips linger against his skin and Oswald sighs. 

There’s a severe weakness in this power dynamic, it would be so easy to hurt him physically or emotionally, to take everything from him including his life. Ed doesn’t understand why or how he can be so open, bleeding out emotionally. These thoughts, the realization he can hurt him, that maybe part of him wants to hurt him makes him wrap his arms around him in a tight embrace. Oswald hides his face against his chest, he’s content, he feels safe here. Ed tries not to think about the pressing dark thoughts that tell him how weak his friend, his partner is. Even if just for a fleeting moment he’d like to enjoy this.


End file.
